Black Friday (or Thursday), what's all the fuss?

For the past, 20 years or so I have hosted Thanksgiving dinner for anywhere between 8 and 30 people.  Each year the menu is the same, but the attendees are different.  People bring boyfriends or girlfriends, they move away, they get married and go to their in-laws.  They get divorced and come back.  They travel, or they don't feel like travelling.  They come because we are their family, or because their family is too far away.  The menu is always the same, but the crowd is different because everyone's needs, circumstances or desires change.

I have never been a Black Friday shopper for a variety of reasons.  It used to be that I had to go to work (in an office, not a store) on Friday. It seems to come as a shock to many people, but Friday is not a given extension of Thanksgiving.  The NYSE is open, so was my office.  I didn't really mind this, mainly because it left my husband to do the bulk of the Thanksgiving cleanup.  Today, I no longer work in an office, but I still don't shop on Black Friday.  Nothing could put me less in the Christmas spirit than fighting over parking spots and the last "must have" gift on the shelves.  For the record, I am very much a December 26th shopper, but that's all about me.

Stores, like most businesses, exist to make a profit.  They spend ridiculous amounts of money to analyze shoppers, their desires and their habits.  In the past several years, Black Friday has creeped into Thursday at what many people feel is an alarming rate.  All over social media, retailers are decried for being against family time for their employees. "No one should have to be away from their family on Thanksgiving," people protest.  Hey, guess what...doctors, nurses, firefighters, police officers, and correctional officers all work on Thanksgiving.  What's that you say?  Those are necessary and important jobs.  Ok, what about waiters and waitresses in restaurants that serve Thanksgiving dinners, casino workers, grocery store workers (so thankful for them when you realize you don't have cranberry sauce), and convenience store workers?

The "public outrage" over retail employees having to work at some point on Thanksgiving day is incomprehensible to me.  I just read a change.org petition from someone saying they will no longer be able to spend Thanksgiving with their family because they have to work at Target.  Target's website says they open at 6:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving.  Assuming that employees might have to be there at 5:00 p.m. to prepare for the crowds, it seems to me that for most people, there is time in the day to spend with family and or friends.  Besides, who says Thanksgiving must be celebrated on the last Thursday in November.  How about Wednesday or Sunday...whatever day works for you.  Christmas is a more significant holiday and people alter their celebration of it all the time.  We celebrate Christmas with my in-laws on the 24th and at home on the 25th.  My neighbor celebrates with her family on Christmas, and her in-laws on the Saturday after Christmas.

The bottom line is this, stores open on Thanksgiving not because they are evil corporations who want to treat employees badly.  They open because that's when people want to shop.  If you don't like it, stop shopping on Thursday and encourage your friends and family to do the same.  Don't demonize businesses for doing what they exist to do...provide goods and services to people who want them, when they want them.  Instead of expressing your moral outrage over the situation, bake an extra turkey and invite some people over who can't be with their biological family this holiday for whatever reason.

Another year already.

Actually, one month in to another year already.  So much for my blogging dedication. But as with diet, exercise and a host of other activities where my ideal and my results don't meet...I'll start again.

I have been reading several entertaining. amusing and informative mom blogs lately.  It's kind of discouraging.   These women are witty and creative, even when they are making fun of their lack of creativity (google Pinterest Fails).  I'm not that mom or that person.  I want to be!  I want to make cute party decorations for my kids and build creative storage solutions in my laundry room.  I want to cook a gourmet, organic,locally grown meal while training for a half marathon. Oh, and also nurture my gifted student, help my teen ace the SAT's, get a full college scholarship and start her own charity.  Why can't I do these things, everyone else seems to be able to?!

Mostly, I feel lucky if I get to the gym 3 or 4 days a week for 30 minutes of cardio, keep my house marginally clean and get dinner on the table most nights.  Also, my kids seem to be managing just fine.  How about you?  Do you feel inferior to some Facebook/blogger/pinterest moms? Are you onboard or are you doing better?  How do you think all this information affects you as a parent or person?

I am not a gun fanatic.  While I have shot and owned weapons, I don't consider myself an expert, an enthusiast or a hunter.  I got a handgun for three reasons.  One, because I can.  Two, personal safety.  Three, it's pretty fun to shoot at paper targets.  Ok, one and three are my main reasons.  I generally don't carry a gun on my person, primarily because I have no intention of going anyplace where I feel my safety is so compromised that I need a weapon.  If you break into my home with an objective to harm me or my family, I'm ready to defend them.  If I can take my husband down a notch by being a better marksman than him at the shooting range, even better.  Not to mention, it is a date where he isn't spending his time figuring out if we will be home in time to watch "The O'Reilly Factor".

I also, honestly, am a little frightened by how easy it is to get a gun if you are not a convicted felon. When I got my first handgun, I made an effort to find some appropriate training on how to use and take care of it.  I found this incredibly difficult to do.  So difficult, in fact, I didn't obtain any.  I have a friend who is a retired police officer and he gave me some very good instructions, but every time I look at my weapon I really think about how easy it is to get one and have NO CLUE how to use it.

I find this fact far more disturbing than assault weapons, "high capacity" magazines, and universal background checks.  Why doesn't anyone talk about this?  We are so focused on the wrong things here.  We live in a society that glamorizes violence in music and movies.  We allow basically any adult, regardless of their emotional health or mental capacity to obtain a weapon.  Guess what? Whether that weapon holds 6 bullets or 8 or 10 or 100, someone can use it to hurt themselves or someone else.  Does it make it better that fewer people might be killed when some nut job decides to go on a shooting spree?

It seems to me that no one wants to deal with reality here.  Guns are not going away in America.  Controlling certain types of guns is not going to have much of an impact on gun violence.  I believe the vast majority of deaths associated with firearms are with handguns anyway and they are not even up for discussion in the current political environment.  Unbalanced people should not be able to aquire weapons.  Where teenagers are concerned, their parents need to be held accountable, along with them.  People who buy guns should be required learn how to use them safely or prove that they already know how to do so. This should not be optional.  Above all, we need to instill in our fellow citizens, a respect for life and each other. There is such a greater task before us as a nation than our government seems prepared to handle.

In light of all this, maybe reason number two is my most important, just the one I least like to consider.

Cesar Chavez, Google? Really?

Today is Easter Sunday.  Like the majority of American Christians, we celebrated with church, candy, family and picture taking.  While I do have some very specific spiritual beliefs (definitely the topic for another blog or 10), I'm not a particularly religious person.  I don't feel compelled to have anyone else practice or even acknowledge my religious preferences.  I am not offended by the term, "happy holidays".  There are times when I am not even sure Christian defines my beliefs.

So, I am somewhat surprized by my own reaction to today's Google doodle of Cesar Chavez because frankly, I find it offensive.  Christianity is the world's largest religion.  Easter is its most significant holiday.  To ignore that while highlighting Chavez is incomprehensible to me.  Google's position seems to be that the doodle frequently acknowleges significant historical and cultural figures.  Hello?  Regardless of your particular religious beliefs, it would be hard to argue that there has been anyone more historically OR culturally significant than Jesus Christ.  Cesar Chavez most definitely does not fit that bill.

I also don't buy the explanation that Google does not regularly produce a doodle for Easter or other religious holidays.  That may be true, but obviously they don't  create a doodle for Chavez's birthday every year either.  They could have done it last year when it was his 85th birthday (a little more significant than 86), or waited for his 87th, 90th or 100th birthdays. 

Do I think Google has an anti-Christian agenda?  No, I don't want to believe that.  But, Google, you need to own up to your mistake today.  There's no excuse for it.

It's spring, watch out for motorcycles!

I love facebook.  I am on it every day.  Now that it is officially spring it's time for those constant messages about how as a driver I should be watching out for bikers.

To my very good friends who ride motorcycles on a regular basis.  I hope and pray that as you are being responsible riders, wearing helmets and following the rules of the road, that the drivers around you are also responsible, alert and following the rules of the road.  I understand that many people are careless and you are concerned about your safety and the safety of your fellow bikers.

I think it goes without saying that everyone who is in control of any vehicle on the roadways should stay in their lane, keep their eyes on the road and don't follow too closely.  I also think it should go without saying that if you are riding a motorcycle, you have a good understanding of the risks you are taking.  You realize that there is no seatbelt, no metal frame, no airbag, nothing between you and the road you are riding on.  You realize that if you choose not to wear a helmet and you are involved in an accident, you will likely die, even if the accident is not your fault.

As the driver of a car, I am not responsible for anticipating that someone is going to appear on my right hand side while I'm sitting at a red light and try to edge in front of me.  I am not responsible for someone who cuts across two lanes of traffic to make a left hand turn because they think they have room.  I am not responsible for the person who feels the need to cross the yellow line to zip past me on a 2 lane street because they are enjoying the feel of a country road.  I am not responsible for the person who wipes out in front of me because they were driving too fast or the one who tries to wedge themselves between me and another car on a highway.

I love my friends who ride and I want them to be safe and live long healthy lives, and continue to enjoy riding.  Being responsible is a two way street.

High School Athletics (or who wants a scholarship?)

My daughter is a high school athlete.  She swims and plays lacrosse.  She is also an outstanding student, a member of her school's student council, National Honor Society, DECA and ski club.  Yes, we have a busy schedule. 

I love that she is an athlete.  I never played a sport in my life.  In my home, growing up, there was absolutely no emphasis on sports or physical fitness in general.  (More about that some other day, I'm sure).  I am so proud of the work she puts in to succeeding on a team and I am so happy to see the joy it often brings her.

I know my daughter is not a superstar athlete.  I know she loves playing lacrosse.  She loves it enough to play most of the year and to give up many weekends to attend tournaments, clinic and training.  I'm happy that we have the time and resources to allow her to do this.  I have absolutely no clue as to whether or not she is good enough to play at the college level.  I assume it would depend on where she chooses to go to college.  Herein lies a problem.

Thankfully, there is no such thing as professional women's lacrosse so neither I, nor any of the lacrosse parents I've met, need to concern ourselves with our daughters' futures to that extent.  There is, however, a disconcerting push for college recruitment.  My daughter is in 10th grade.  She is sure that she wants to go to college, somewhere for something.  That's the extent of it.  Yet, there is a tremendous amout of pressure to have our video ready, know which coaches we want to see, contact schools about the summer tournaments we are playing in, prepare her NCAA resume', go to camp, join the "best" club team, train harder, play more, and chant Division I in our sleep.  Whew!  Please refer to the first sentence of this paragraph.

And according to some people, we are getting a late start here in 10th grade.  Apparently I should have had her training year 'round for the past 4 or 5 years and attending national tournaments so she would be "seen".  I hear a lot of people say that these crazy parents are trying to relive their glory days through their kids or that they are using their kids' athletic success as a mark of their own success.  There probably are parents like that, but mostly, I think they are parents who want their kids to be happy.  It is so easy to be sold on the idea that you are giving your child an advantage by spending thousands of dollars a year (really, thousands) because you want your child to succeed and there is NO ONE who will tell you they won't.  There is NO ONE who will walk up to you and say, "Your child's time as a student athlete will end after high school."

So, bucking what seems to be the trend, I am working to help my daughter focus on identiying what she might like to study in college, and finding a school that is the best fit for her with that major.  We don't have a video, or an NCAA resume'.  We haven't contacted any coaches.  If she finds a school she likes that has a lacrosse team, maybe we will.  Some people would tell me I'm doing her a disservice.  I hope I'm teaching her to aim for the bigger prize.

I am so not sure I want to do this....

I went to see a psychic a few years ago.  One of the first things she said to me was, "You're a writer."  Nope, I'm a stay-at-home-mom, at the moment.  Before that, I worked in finance.  The best writing I did there were some scorching emails to people who weren't performing their jobs.  No time for that reflective nonsense. 

When I was young (as under 21 young) I wrote prodigiously.  This was mainly due to the fact that I was a miserable teenager.  Except for some poetry, the vast majority of these works have been thankfully destroyed.  Several years ago my mom gave me a box of stuff from my youth that contained some journals I had written.  The depth of their sadness horrified me.  I couldn't get rid of them fast enough. 

For the most part these days, my life is angst free which has lead me to think I have nothing to write about, but maybe that's not true.  I love writing.  I dreamt of living in a converted barn outside a small New England town and churning out pages and pages for my literary fans.  What I hadn't considered though, is the fact that it is downright intimidating to think about real people reading what you wrote.  I am petrified beyond belief. So, I'm going to do it anyway.