Funny, I was just watching an episode of "House of Cards" earlier today and Claire was talking about how she was taking marriage 7 years at a time. There is also, of course, the infamous 7 year itch, but also lucky number 7. So, today's topic for the 30 day writing challenge is to discuss how your life will be in 7 years.
My first inclination is actually to talk about what my kids will be doing in seven years, but that doesn't really explain what my life will be like, other than missing my kids who with any luck will be on their own, or mostly so seven years from now. My youngest should be a sophomore in college by then.
It's amazing how certain aspects of the future seem so clear. My children will be adults. I will be seven years older. I will be making concrete plans to secure my financial future. I will not yet be ready to succumb to the gray that is already appearing in my hair. I feel confident I will still be healthy (maybe even healthier), energetic and able to enjoy this stage of life. I envision more freedom to travel, be with friends and explore my own interests, whatever they may be.
Other things seem so difficult to imagine. What will our financial situation be like? Will my husband's business have been wildly successful or a bust or just the right amount to make us comfortable. What about me? I've recently started on a direct marketing adventure, something I never imagined myself doing, although I love the product (more on that some other day). Will I be successful? Will this company even be in business in seven years? What will my spouse's health be like. He constantly jokes that he will be dead long before he retires, but anything is possible. Am I prepared to enter the next phase of my life on my own? What will the world be like? Will there still be Facebook? Much of the future is outside of our control. That is part of what makes living so exciting; waiting to see what happens next!
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Monday, October 26, 2015
Me
The writing challenge topic for Day 6 is to name someone who fascinates you and explain why. Naming myself may sound wildly self-centered, but really, aren't we all fascinated with ourselves? We look in the mirror, worry how we dress, wonder what kind of impression we made, fret over whether we were misunderstood. The truth is most of us are endlessly obsessed with ourselves and our place in the world.
Like most of us, I have an image in my head of the person I picture myself to be. She's a snappy dresser, a good listener, a wise counsel. She is smart, knows how to take care of herself and her family and stays in control. She loves to read and write, play board games and lean new things.
Does this sound like you? Substitute any adjectives you like above.
So, this is how I see myself and yet on a regular (daily?) basis, I find myself mentally eye rolling while someone is telling me a story, losing patience with my spouse or children, making poor choices, skipping that brisk walk or workout, ordering pizza (again!) instead of cooking a healthy dinner. I put my book aside to watch tv or browse Facebook. I rarely play board games because my family doesn't want to (I think because I usually win). I have a Rosetta Stone set of Italian lessons I got for Christmas three years ago that I have yet to get through the first section.
Personally, I find someone who fails to do something spectacular ultimately more fascinating than a gifted athlete or a brilliant scientist or a prolific author. Those are people who recognized or were recognized as having a particular talent, nurtured that talent and achieved results. Nothing too fascinating there. The fascinating people of the world are the people like me. We know what or who we want to be and yet we struggle on a daily basis to get there. I have no formula for achieving all your hopes and dreams because I haven't done it myself, nor have any of my friends or family. Yet along with me, all of our possibilities remain endless and what could be more fascinating than that?
Like most of us, I have an image in my head of the person I picture myself to be. She's a snappy dresser, a good listener, a wise counsel. She is smart, knows how to take care of herself and her family and stays in control. She loves to read and write, play board games and lean new things.
Does this sound like you? Substitute any adjectives you like above.
So, this is how I see myself and yet on a regular (daily?) basis, I find myself mentally eye rolling while someone is telling me a story, losing patience with my spouse or children, making poor choices, skipping that brisk walk or workout, ordering pizza (again!) instead of cooking a healthy dinner. I put my book aside to watch tv or browse Facebook. I rarely play board games because my family doesn't want to (I think because I usually win). I have a Rosetta Stone set of Italian lessons I got for Christmas three years ago that I have yet to get through the first section.
Personally, I find someone who fails to do something spectacular ultimately more fascinating than a gifted athlete or a brilliant scientist or a prolific author. Those are people who recognized or were recognized as having a particular talent, nurtured that talent and achieved results. Nothing too fascinating there. The fascinating people of the world are the people like me. We know what or who we want to be and yet we struggle on a daily basis to get there. I have no formula for achieving all your hopes and dreams because I haven't done it myself, nor have any of my friends or family. Yet along with me, all of our possibilities remain endless and what could be more fascinating than that?
Thursday, October 22, 2015
My earliest memory
Day 2 of the 30 day writing challenge; my earliest memory.
Well, this should be brief since my earliest memories are sketchy at best. I have quite a few memories of when I was young, most of which are supported with photographic evidence which science says increases your memory retention so I'll skip those. I actually have 2 very distinct memories from being very young, but I'm not sure which one is the earliest.
The first is of flying in an airplane with my uncle. I think I must have been about 2. My aunt and uncle had moved to Indiana and bought my grandmother a plane ticket to fly back with my uncle to see her newest grandaughter, who is about 18 months younger than me. When it came time to go, Grandma decided not to fly for some reason (fear, going without Granddad, who knows?) so I went. My grandparents drove out later to visit and retrieve me and there are pictures of that. My sole memory of this experience is sitting on the plane with the tray table down. In front of me were the real dishes and silverware they used on planes in the 1960's. I had a cup of hot chocolate in a coffee cup, which must have been a real treat for me. I think this memory has more to do with the hot chocolate than the plane ride because it is the only think I remember from this trip!
The second memory involves going to Ohio to visit my great-grandmother. In my head, I have vague images of the farmhouse porch and kitchen. There is also a sense of awe that I had such a person as a great-grandma and that there were people so old, although in reality, she was probably only in her early 70's at the time, possibly even her late 60's. What I remember most, however, was sitting at the kitchen table and having warm milk, from a cow.
Why do my earliest memories revolve around food? I'm sure there's something psychological there, but I don't think I want to know!
Well, this should be brief since my earliest memories are sketchy at best. I have quite a few memories of when I was young, most of which are supported with photographic evidence which science says increases your memory retention so I'll skip those. I actually have 2 very distinct memories from being very young, but I'm not sure which one is the earliest.
The first is of flying in an airplane with my uncle. I think I must have been about 2. My aunt and uncle had moved to Indiana and bought my grandmother a plane ticket to fly back with my uncle to see her newest grandaughter, who is about 18 months younger than me. When it came time to go, Grandma decided not to fly for some reason (fear, going without Granddad, who knows?) so I went. My grandparents drove out later to visit and retrieve me and there are pictures of that. My sole memory of this experience is sitting on the plane with the tray table down. In front of me were the real dishes and silverware they used on planes in the 1960's. I had a cup of hot chocolate in a coffee cup, which must have been a real treat for me. I think this memory has more to do with the hot chocolate than the plane ride because it is the only think I remember from this trip!
The second memory involves going to Ohio to visit my great-grandmother. In my head, I have vague images of the farmhouse porch and kitchen. There is also a sense of awe that I had such a person as a great-grandma and that there were people so old, although in reality, she was probably only in her early 70's at the time, possibly even her late 60's. What I remember most, however, was sitting at the kitchen table and having warm milk, from a cow.
Why do my earliest memories revolve around food? I'm sure there's something psychological there, but I don't think I want to know!
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
They're growing up
My kids are growing up. I know, it's the way things are supposed to be. In fact, I really do want them to be this way. I have enjoyed every phase of my kids lives and looked forward to each new one to come. Sure, there have been ups and downs, but I never looked back and longed for, say, those toddler years. We lived them, we took pictures and video, we enjoyed them and we moved on.
Now, my oldest is getting ready to graduate from high school and my youngest is a very independent teenager. Except for meals and money, I am becoming extraneous in their lives (at least they think I am). I'm not sure how to deal with this. On the one hand it is occasionally liberating, on the other, it's heartbreaking.
My daughter, who cried every day when she went to school until the THIRD GRADE, has no time for me. She is leaving for college in 3 months and I want to go to lunch and shop and enjoy her company while she is here and that is last thing she is interested in. I get it. I am not so old that I don't remember graduating from high school or the summer before I left for college. I know that she wants and needs to enjoy this rare kind of freedom. I am happy and excited for her and all the experiences yet to come in her life.
I have moved from a place of vital importance to one of minor (sometimes major) inconvenience and I don't know how to deal with it. After 18 years of rearranging my life to accommodate theirs, how do I stop doing that? And what in the heck do I do now? I thought I was mentally prepared for this. I have plenty of friends whose children have already flown from the nest. I know life is just as fulfilling, and frequently less aggravating, when they are on their own, or almost so. The weeks when they have been away at summer camp, I've thought to myself, "yeah, this is what it will be like someday." I was wrong. The physical absence is so insignificant compared to the emotional one. My heart breaks for my friends that have twins who are going (or will be going) through this transition. One at a time is hard enough. I wonder if it will be easier when the second time comes around. At least he still needs me to drive him to the pool this summer....
P.S. If you have already been through this transition, what helped? What didn't? How do you feel about it now?
Monday, November 17, 2014
Black Friday (or Thursday), what's all the fuss?
For the past, 20 years or so I have hosted Thanksgiving dinner for anywhere between 8 and 30 people. Each year the menu is the same, but the attendees are different. People bring boyfriends or girlfriends, they move away, they get married and go to their in-laws. They get divorced and come back. They travel, or they don't feel like travelling. They come because we are their family, or because their family is too far away. The menu is always the same, but the crowd is different because everyone's needs, circumstances or desires change.
I have never been a Black Friday shopper for a variety of reasons. It used to be that I had to go to work (in an office, not a store) on Friday. It seems to come as a shock to many people, but Friday is not a given extension of Thanksgiving. The NYSE is open, so was my office. I didn't really mind this, mainly because it left my husband to do the bulk of the Thanksgiving cleanup. Today, I no longer work in an office, but I still don't shop on Black Friday. Nothing could put me less in the Christmas spirit than fighting over parking spots and the last "must have" gift on the shelves. For the record, I am very much a December 26th shopper, but that's all about me.
Stores, like most businesses, exist to make a profit. They spend ridiculous amounts of money to analyze shoppers, their desires and their habits. In the past several years, Black Friday has creeped into Thursday at what many people feel is an alarming rate. All over social media, retailers are decried for being against family time for their employees. "No one should have to be away from their family on Thanksgiving," people protest. Hey, guess what...doctors, nurses, firefighters, police officers, and correctional officers all work on Thanksgiving. What's that you say? Those are necessary and important jobs. Ok, what about waiters and waitresses in restaurants that serve Thanksgiving dinners, casino workers, grocery store workers (so thankful for them when you realize you don't have cranberry sauce), and convenience store workers?
The "public outrage" over retail employees having to work at some point on Thanksgiving day is incomprehensible to me. I just read a change.org petition from someone saying they will no longer be able to spend Thanksgiving with their family because they have to work at Target. Target's website says they open at 6:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving. Assuming that employees might have to be there at 5:00 p.m. to prepare for the crowds, it seems to me that for most people, there is time in the day to spend with family and or friends. Besides, who says Thanksgiving must be celebrated on the last Thursday in November. How about Wednesday or Sunday...whatever day works for you. Christmas is a more significant holiday and people alter their celebration of it all the time. We celebrate Christmas with my in-laws on the 24th and at home on the 25th. My neighbor celebrates with her family on Christmas, and her in-laws on the Saturday after Christmas.
The bottom line is this, stores open on Thanksgiving not because they are evil corporations who want to treat employees badly. They open because that's when people want to shop. If you don't like it, stop shopping on Thursday and encourage your friends and family to do the same. Don't demonize businesses for doing what they exist to do...provide goods and services to people who want them, when they want them. Instead of expressing your moral outrage over the situation, bake an extra turkey and invite some people over who can't be with their biological family this holiday for whatever reason.
I have never been a Black Friday shopper for a variety of reasons. It used to be that I had to go to work (in an office, not a store) on Friday. It seems to come as a shock to many people, but Friday is not a given extension of Thanksgiving. The NYSE is open, so was my office. I didn't really mind this, mainly because it left my husband to do the bulk of the Thanksgiving cleanup. Today, I no longer work in an office, but I still don't shop on Black Friday. Nothing could put me less in the Christmas spirit than fighting over parking spots and the last "must have" gift on the shelves. For the record, I am very much a December 26th shopper, but that's all about me.
Stores, like most businesses, exist to make a profit. They spend ridiculous amounts of money to analyze shoppers, their desires and their habits. In the past several years, Black Friday has creeped into Thursday at what many people feel is an alarming rate. All over social media, retailers are decried for being against family time for their employees. "No one should have to be away from their family on Thanksgiving," people protest. Hey, guess what...doctors, nurses, firefighters, police officers, and correctional officers all work on Thanksgiving. What's that you say? Those are necessary and important jobs. Ok, what about waiters and waitresses in restaurants that serve Thanksgiving dinners, casino workers, grocery store workers (so thankful for them when you realize you don't have cranberry sauce), and convenience store workers?
The "public outrage" over retail employees having to work at some point on Thanksgiving day is incomprehensible to me. I just read a change.org petition from someone saying they will no longer be able to spend Thanksgiving with their family because they have to work at Target. Target's website says they open at 6:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving. Assuming that employees might have to be there at 5:00 p.m. to prepare for the crowds, it seems to me that for most people, there is time in the day to spend with family and or friends. Besides, who says Thanksgiving must be celebrated on the last Thursday in November. How about Wednesday or Sunday...whatever day works for you. Christmas is a more significant holiday and people alter their celebration of it all the time. We celebrate Christmas with my in-laws on the 24th and at home on the 25th. My neighbor celebrates with her family on Christmas, and her in-laws on the Saturday after Christmas.
The bottom line is this, stores open on Thanksgiving not because they are evil corporations who want to treat employees badly. They open because that's when people want to shop. If you don't like it, stop shopping on Thursday and encourage your friends and family to do the same. Don't demonize businesses for doing what they exist to do...provide goods and services to people who want them, when they want them. Instead of expressing your moral outrage over the situation, bake an extra turkey and invite some people over who can't be with their biological family this holiday for whatever reason.
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