7 years

Funny, I was just watching an episode of "House of Cards" earlier today and Claire was talking about how she was taking marriage 7 years at a time.  There is also, of course, the infamous 7 year itch, but also lucky number 7.  So, today's topic for the 30 day writing challenge is to discuss how your life will be in 7 years.

My first inclination is actually to talk about what my kids will be doing in seven years, but that doesn't really explain what my life will be like, other than missing my kids who with any luck will be on their own, or mostly so seven years from now.  My youngest should be a sophomore in college by then.

It's amazing how certain aspects of the future seem so clear.  My children will be adults.  I will be seven years older.  I will be making concrete plans to secure my financial future.  I will not yet be ready to succumb to the gray that is already appearing in my hair.  I feel confident I will still be healthy (maybe even healthier), energetic and able to enjoy this stage of life.  I envision more freedom to travel, be with friends and explore my own interests, whatever they may be.

Other things seem so difficult to imagine.  What will our financial situation be like?  Will my husband's business have been wildly successful or a bust or just the right amount to make us comfortable.  What about me?  I've recently started on a direct marketing adventure, something I never imagined myself doing, although I love the product (more on that some other day).  Will I be successful?  Will this company even be in business in seven years?  What will my spouse's health be like.  He constantly jokes that he will be dead long before he retires, but anything is possible.  Am I prepared to enter the next phase of my life on my own?   What will the world be like?  Will there still be Facebook?   Much of the future is outside of our control.  That is part of what makes living so exciting; waiting to see what happens next!

They're growing up

My kids are growing up.  I know, it's the way things are supposed to be.  In fact, I really do want them to be this way.  I have enjoyed every phase of my kids lives and looked forward to each new one to come.  Sure, there have been ups and downs, but I never looked back and longed for, say, those toddler years.  We lived them, we took pictures and video, we enjoyed them and we moved on.

Now, my oldest is getting ready to graduate from high school and my youngest is a very independent teenager.  Except for meals and money, I am becoming extraneous in their lives (at least they think I am).  I'm not sure how to deal with this.  On the one hand it is occasionally liberating, on the other, it's heartbreaking.  

My daughter, who cried every day when she went to school until the THIRD GRADE, has no time for me.  She is leaving for college in 3 months and I want to go to lunch and shop and enjoy her company while she is here and that is last thing she is interested in.  I get it.  I am not so old that I don't remember graduating from high school or the summer before I left for college.  I know that she wants and needs to enjoy this rare kind of freedom.  I am happy and excited for her and all the experiences yet to come in her life.

I have moved from a place of vital importance to one of minor (sometimes major) inconvenience and I don't know how to deal with it.  After 18 years of rearranging my life to accommodate theirs, how do I stop doing that?  And what in the heck do I do now?  I thought I was mentally prepared for this. I have plenty of friends whose children have already flown from the nest.  I know life is just as fulfilling, and frequently less aggravating, when they are on their own, or almost so.  The weeks when they have been away at summer camp, I've thought to myself, "yeah, this is what it will be like someday."  I was wrong.  The physical absence is so insignificant compared to the emotional one.  My heart breaks for my friends that have twins who are going (or will be going) through this transition.  One at a time is hard enough.  I wonder if it will be easier when the second time comes around.  At least he still needs me to drive him to the pool this summer....

P.S. If you have already been through this transition, what helped?  What didn't?  How do you feel about it now?