They're growing up

My kids are growing up.  I know, it's the way things are supposed to be.  In fact, I really do want them to be this way.  I have enjoyed every phase of my kids lives and looked forward to each new one to come.  Sure, there have been ups and downs, but I never looked back and longed for, say, those toddler years.  We lived them, we took pictures and video, we enjoyed them and we moved on.

Now, my oldest is getting ready to graduate from high school and my youngest is a very independent teenager.  Except for meals and money, I am becoming extraneous in their lives (at least they think I am).  I'm not sure how to deal with this.  On the one hand it is occasionally liberating, on the other, it's heartbreaking.  

My daughter, who cried every day when she went to school until the THIRD GRADE, has no time for me.  She is leaving for college in 3 months and I want to go to lunch and shop and enjoy her company while she is here and that is last thing she is interested in.  I get it.  I am not so old that I don't remember graduating from high school or the summer before I left for college.  I know that she wants and needs to enjoy this rare kind of freedom.  I am happy and excited for her and all the experiences yet to come in her life.

I have moved from a place of vital importance to one of minor (sometimes major) inconvenience and I don't know how to deal with it.  After 18 years of rearranging my life to accommodate theirs, how do I stop doing that?  And what in the heck do I do now?  I thought I was mentally prepared for this. I have plenty of friends whose children have already flown from the nest.  I know life is just as fulfilling, and frequently less aggravating, when they are on their own, or almost so.  The weeks when they have been away at summer camp, I've thought to myself, "yeah, this is what it will be like someday."  I was wrong.  The physical absence is so insignificant compared to the emotional one.  My heart breaks for my friends that have twins who are going (or will be going) through this transition.  One at a time is hard enough.  I wonder if it will be easier when the second time comes around.  At least he still needs me to drive him to the pool this summer....

P.S. If you have already been through this transition, what helped?  What didn't?  How do you feel about it now?